I Am On Time

I I am on time

Not late, 

Not lost, 

Not confused, 

I am on time. 

I shouldn’t be there, 

I shouldn’t be this

I don’t need to fret

I don’t need to resist 

For I have a gift. 

A gift of being on time. 

On time for love

On time for being

I am on time to smile 

I am on time to rest. 

I am on time to wonder. 

I am on time to be my best

I am on time to admire all that I am right here for awhile,

So for now I’ll catch you next time, on the arrival. 

These words I wrote a few weeks ago, I like to think of them as a gift for me today. A gift for me to re-remember the beauty of the absolute truth of here-ness.. of on time-ness. I too struggle often with feeling behind. Constantly, cripplingly so… feeling behind in life. That wounded construct is a pure illusion I have become familiar with. It has been on my side, it has held my hand, it has gone almost everywhere with me. Right there I look over and see its face reminding me I am still behind. Its company is consistent, I have come to rely on its presence. I have become comfortable with its propaganda. I have come to welcome it into my home and tell me how to live. I have come to know deeply this presence of being behind. So the truth has now become can I be brave enough to no longer bring behind with me into my future. Can I step into unknown territory without it guiding me, without it motivating me? Can I see a future where I don’t feel behind? Can I even comprehend what that would be like? A small voice says I might be behind on not being behind, “I might be too behind to be here.” I hear you voice, I see your comfort even in these damaging words. I see you trying to shh me back into your all familiar arms saying “there there, poor child, i’ll stay here with you in the behind” 

Can I have strength to walk away and say goodbye to all I have ever known? 

To walk the path of on time here and now? 

There’s only this moment where it can begin. 

Moment to moment 

Time and time again.

Practice & Play 

Knowing your free, 

Jenn